i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
