Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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