I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
