Her vagina should come with caution tape.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
