I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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