Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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