I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
