Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
