I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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