Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
