Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
