what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
