Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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