OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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