he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
love makes seman taste better
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
