we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
