at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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