he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
