I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
