I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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