I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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