I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
