I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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