i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
