it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
