OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
