i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
