he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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