the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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