you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
