I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You can't special order awesome
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
