do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
