This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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