you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
