Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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