Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
