and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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