the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
