I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
