And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
50% drunk capacity currently
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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