return my video game
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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