I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
