he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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