just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
