when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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