Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
