after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
