I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
