Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
