I wanna bring you to show and tell
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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