nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you never un-have a 4some
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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