You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
