Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
