covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
