it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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