i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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