He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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